Sunday, June 12, 2011

I'm not what you think.

This is a journal entry. It says "I'm not what you think." It's a greeting card of a queens dress and in the inside of the card is a Gothic cartoon girl. It opens in the middle to show the black dress within.


Here it is with one flap open. I put my head on it.


Here it is all the way open. Gothic black trench coat, black platform boots... I did this because at the time I was feeling unnoticed. Actually, I'm still unnoticed. That is what happens at 55.
I was visiting my sister not too long ago. Her daughters don't know how cool she is. Actually both my sisters. Their daughter's only know them as "grandma" or "mom". I remember them when they were young. They were WAAAAYYY cool. Their daughters don't know. They don't know how much fun they are, or how much they love to laugh and giggle and how much they just KNOW about everything.
My son doesn't know how cool his dad is. Or, how I was when I was young. He thinks I'm just a frumpy mom. I suppose at this time in my life, I am a frumpy mom.
I know my mom was a wild cat. Although if you saw her now you would think of her as a sweet grandmother. She met my dad when she was 17. He was 35. hmmmm...
It makes me sad to think of how much (of us, of who we really are) is lost to everyone who is young.
Sad because of how we are defined by our age, and not by our totality.
I know that I'm a black trench coat wearing, tattoo bearing, bleached out blond with black
thigh high boots AND a great mom and wife and woman who already has a life time of happiness, pain and wisdom. Too bad the children only see the 55 year old mom that's working at Starbucks and that's been married forever.
I'm not what you think.
xoxo
k

8 comments:

  1. Wow Karen, I was just thinking about this the other day as I was thinking about my birthday coming up in a few days. I will be 56 and was thinking how I am still that 26 year old (only much wiser)inside. I'm not sure if anyone else sees her, but I'm pretty sure my husband does, thank goodness!
    I love this card!!!! What a wonderful piece of artwork...and a Hot Momma inside!!!

    Have a great week friend!
    hugs to you...

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  2. Ok first! You are the coolest AUNT EVER...(next to my Aunt Roo!) so don't think this way!

    Second "Actually both my sisters"...um, your other sister is my Mom and Grandma to my kids! But she is the coolest ever and I hope to be half as cool as her when I get to be her age!

    Third! It takes time (and having kids...or just growing up...sadly) to realize just how cool your parents are!

    I LOVE YOU COMPLETELY!!!

    P.S.
    4 YEARS OF AGE - My Mommy can do anything!
    8 YEARS OF AGE - My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot!
    12 YEARS OF AGE - My Mother doesn't really know quite everything.
    14 YEARS OF AGE - Naturally, Mother doesn't know that, either.
    16 YEARS OF AGE - Mother? She's hopelessly old-fashioned.
    18 YEARS OF AGE - That old woman? She's way out of date!
    25 YEARS OF AGE - Well, she might know a little bit about it!
    35 YEARS OF AGE - Before we decide, let's get Mom's opinion. (I FELT THIS WAY AT 21...BUT HMMMM, I HAD MY FIRST KID AT 21!)
    45 YEARS OF AGE - Wonder what Mom would have thought about it?
    65 YEARS OF AGE - Wish I could talk it over with Mom.

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  3. Oh...


    65 YEARS OF AGE - Wish I could talk it over with Mom.

    And considering that Grandma (your Mom) is cooler and younger than all of us...we won't have to worry about this one! ;)

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  4. These are fabulous! You are such an inspiration!

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  5. Thank you amy! You are my daughter and not my niece so thank you for realizing that your "other" mom is kinda cool.
    :) xoxo
    love you
    auntie k
    aka 'other mother'

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  6. Well. I agree Karen. Very well written and thought out. Sometimes I see things at shops that I really love and would love to wear, but then think.....Nnnnaaahhh, not at my age. But inside I am saying," that outfit is so cool." The younger generation just does not realize that cool is not defeated by the esculating of numbers. We once were really sweet, and really cool, and really "with it", afterall we all came out of the Woodstock era, and the revolutions of music, and the birthing of everything that defines their world now. It just did not happen. Cool people made it all happen, cool people like US. LOL LOL LOL.....So, now my sign in the kitchen has to say, "there is a real cool and skinny girl just screaming to get out of this fat body." "Someone please throw her a few oreos to shut her up."

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  7. Oh sweet anonymous!
    Thank you for being a cool friend and reminding me that we were and are still (kinda) cool. Cool is NOT defined by numbers. Your the best!
    xoxo
    k

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  8. When I first saw your face, I thought it was a cut out of Heidi Klum, until I read your post! I'm serious!
    The outfit is very cool!

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