Sunday, January 18, 2015

Sunday morning thoughts.

Sunday morning thoughts.

When our youngest son moved out and started living on his own, I was struck with a sense of sadness that went beyond the preverbal 'empty nest'. With the death of our first son, and now our last child finding his wings,  the "empty" was deep, lonely and well,   frightening. 

In my dream life, Chuck and I would have family get togethers with our big strapping boys and their wives and of course their big families. I saw where we'd be cooking dinners and laughing and toasting.  

Have you ever heard the saying:
"If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans." ?

My ideal life has changed. Maybe someday our boy will get married and have those grandchildren and we will get to sit at the head of a long dinner table and rejoice in (still another) new direction… 
who knows? 

I've realized, I must MAKE a life. 
Albeit different than what I imagined, but a full life regardless.

 I hear my mothers voice in my head, gratitude, gratitude, gratitude.

Oh mom. My gratitude on this Sunday morning...

I've been struck by the joy I am finding in the simple things. This morning up in my studio, my coffee cup was steaming. "Click" goes my camera and for a moment I've frozen the image. 
I love this time. Mornings are the best. My whole day is ahead of me and 

I've been feeling…possibilities.

I'm looking at my easel wall.  I don't know what I will be working on today, 
but I have the entire day to work on something. Hmmm, gratitude. Something that I love to do, and a free day to do it.

My conscience doll. She stares down at me, making me focus…
I'm smiling.

I like the way my life is right now.

A painting of our dog, Grizzly.
Today it looks like I will rework this one a little and start a new painting.

Life is good.
Find a simple joy.
Find a gratitude.

Thank you God.

Friday, January 2, 2015

End of 2014 nonsense.

I painted a cat today
and some other 'end of 2014' nonsense.

New Years Goals:

1.) Get food back to where it belongs. In other words, no more Crunchy Cheeto's with 
red wine for dinner.
2.) Draw something everyday.
3.) Stop swearing.

This doesn't seem TOO difficult, however this is why I call them GOALS and not 
RESOLUTIONS. Ekkkk. Just the word RESOLUTE is frightening. You can "struggle" with goals, you must be resolute when dealing with resolutions…

I must say I'm pretty proud at myself for last years goals. I am still going to the gym, a lot. I have realized though ~ now closer to 60 than 55 years of age, the gym only does so much. The rest is diet and if you're really lucky you get some good "skinny" genes. 

I'm not so lucky.

I'm also proud that I have continued to be diligent with the painting and visiting the upstairs studio. Sometimes I just go up there and read and have a glass of wine, but most the time I am actually painting. The above photo is after today's painting and also posted for those of you that have 
seen my studio and think I am sooooo organized. 

Uhhhh, not so much. 
(That was just for the party)

Today I painted a cat. 

I'm learning to paint. I'm forcing myself to not be overly critical. I paint over the top of many canvas's (that I hate what I've painted)  and constantly compare myself to others.
 I read once, "Don't compare your chapter one to my chapter ten". 
I love this, because this is what I do,  
compare my chapter one to other artist's chapter ten, or twenty or more! 

Another goal for 2015 ~ 
4.) Stop comparing myself to others.

(Shhhh... that's not only in the art department…)

Here is a thought to remember.

365 days
365 new chances.

Let's not stress. Call them "goals".
But make a few.

For all my artist friends (and that includes the writers, the decorators, the ones with sewing machines the beer makers, hair dressers, sculptors, film makers, students, barista's, etc. etc. etc. 
make a goal to continue to chase your dreams.  
Make that time that is necessary. 

Good health and great times in 2015!